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| yeah, i admit dat im not in a gd mood now coz of a moment ago! shit!! im so fxxking dependent on others!!!! wtf!! i've made a rating list for him since dat happened, then, we moved into another stage in our relationship, a stage where is a boundary where he might fall off easily, a stage where he never wanted to be--probation stage, and i started to rate. sometimes, i wonder does he really cares abt me? if he cares, y he wouldn't keeps everything up? he makes me feel like yeah, sometimes he cares abt me--very much; yet, sometime--who cares isn't it fxxking rediculous?! am i too AVALIABLE @ ANY MOMENT or ANYTIME?????? perhaps, im too sensitive; perhaps, i asked for too much; perhaps, he's sick of it, but SO DO I!!!! i know im a trouble maker, that is me, coz i wana get attention from u; yet, cause trouble doesn't get ur attention to me. yeah, im mad, i admit again! FINE, LEAVE ME ALONE, jux keep urself from me, im not AVALIABLE to u @ ANYTIME ANYMORE, coz i got my own life, i hv my own stuff to worry, i don't wana piss myself off again and again, don't call me ANYTIME YOU WANT but i don't even wana hear ur bullshit, don't talk to me when U R FREE on msn but i still hv loads of works need to be done, enjoy ur FREE life, and i'll enjoy mine as well... yeah, set you free = set myself free, why not?! @ dis moment, u = 0 to me... i hate..............................
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| dis was sth still in ma thought when was alone somewhere and sometimes.... although i've been busy since the beginning of the sku yr, somehow, there's a little gap in my stupid brain to think of sth even more stupid, i hate it!!! i always fell in to the gap accidently and easily when im depressed or when i got nth to do; SHIT!!! i've questioned myself as many times that when i can totally get rid of these crapy shit, i jux couldn't have an answer in my head, but actually i do, do i? whatever... perhaps, memory is really sth bull shit, hahahahaha!!! coz it usually TMD remember what it upsets me but 4get what makes me happy; what the fuck?!!!! i really don't like u Mr. Memory when u upsets me!!!!
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| umm...i should say, da prob is not how many time i can let it go n forgive it,or forget it... it's da prob wether u want a normal relationship; u didn't do anything to challenage ma patient, ur personality is like dat way...ok, let's clean it up, it's over, n it should b over, nth need to be struggle on anymore, n i hope i'll really let go be4 im totally numb abt u.
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|  tired... been staying up all nite to do ma legal 397G paper on DEATH PENALTY goin home soon~ i miss home!! although i m tired, i m still excited abt occupying ma room for whole nite, heehee... i love my "sing sing"S!! blah blah blah.. dunno wat to say, bibi, i dunno when i will b up here again~~
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| at work.. being bored, but fine...not too bad here since i can do whatever i want to~~ school has been started for a month, it's getting busier n busier, jux got the paper of research paper, hard to think about the topic--> law n personal freedom won't get free time til the end of the semester i guess, fortunately, i still get a chance to go home for a weekend i miss the soup u cooked for me in the past but anyway, i can get used to the days w/out u, hahaha although it's busy all the time, i do miss those days that i was still wif my frenz.. miss them so bad!! btw, babe ophi is coming back from L.A next semester, haha~ so glad that i can spend my last semester wif her, well... it's her pleasure actually!! my life seemed back on track again, things jux like never changed be4 i go to uk, but still there's sth changed which is... watever, jux dun wana think abt it anymore~~ i'd better spend more time on my case readings.. yea.. no more wasting of time, it's jux too much in the past, time to catch up, hahaha.. michelle, cheer up!! | | |
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